Samantha Fox: 3 Autographed Posters

I received this cylinder in the mail nearly two years ago and have been waiting to make good use of it ever since:

Yes, that's direct mail from Samantha Fox, my favourite lead singer of the 1980s, my favourite pop music queen, my childhood crush obsession, the lone ''non-rock'' patch on my teenage jean jacket...

I contemplated having its contents laminated, but because they are of ''unusual'' (read: British) dimensions (12x16.5 inches), I would have had to do so on larger-than-the-poster canvasses; it took me a long time to find ideal-sized and affordable frames... until last Sunday.

And so:

Oh, yes, these are going on my wall.

She sells unsigned versions of these at 10 pounds apiece ($20 U.S.), and signed ones for 30 each ($60 U.S.). I got them for much, much less than that - because I'm a musician, proved to be a true fan, and did my best to attend every single one of her performances in my part of the world.

There are days where I regret some of the choices I've made in my life, like foregoing on a hockey career to pursue my education, or choosing the least faithful out of two possible ladies as a long-term companion, or leading a relatively unhealthy lifestyle without the trade-off of at least feeling like it was worth the damage done.

But there are days where I tell myself that every choice I've made has led me right here, and there is no way I could possibly want to trade that away. This is one of them:

There is a God - he just hasn't made me a photographer. BEST BLACK DRESS, EVER; ALL-TIME GREATEST USE OF WIND. I even noticed the shoes, and I'm neither gay nor a lady! Oh, and superb signature. I nominate this as the greatest piece of human history ever created.

There is also this sexy bustier shot, which I had a blown-up poster of (unsigned) earlier in my life:

And this one, showing a rather large tattoo I had never noticed on her before (let me reiterate that I've seen her perform live and state for the record that I've met her maybe 5 years ago when she came to town to play an outdoors show at out Gay Pride festival):

Another cool black dress, the likes of which could have been worn in a sexy, almost-goth fashionable wedding à la November Rain, the epic 1992 Guns N' Roses video. I volunteer to be the groom.

Eléni (Lane Brody) Autographed CD

Lane Brody has been an active songwriter since 1982, and has been nominated for an Oscar (1984, for Over You) and an Emmy (the theme song to The Yellow Rose, which she co-wrote and sang with Johnny Lee and became a #1 country hit).

She had started single jingles in tons of radio TV ads, for brands such as McDonald's, 7Up, Juicy Fruit, and Beatrice Foods for their 1984 Olympics run (''You've known us all along!''), and made her way back to TV by guest-starring in Taxi, then in Heart Of The City.

I corresponded with her briefly before and at the turn of the millennium, and she was kind enough to send me autographed items once in a while. I came across this promo-version of her self-released 2001 album Familiar Places (through her self-owned label Records Records) while unpacking today; the album's original artwork was this:

She released that album under the name Eléni, which is the Greek root for the names Helen, Ellen, Elaine, and Lynn. The album mentions it was her given (birth) name, but her Wikipedia page instead says she came into this world as Lynn Voorlas, and is also known as Lynn Nilles. Then again, she always has been rather mysterious.

Another thing she always has been is an amazing musical talent with a rich voice. She transcends styles, though she has kind of gone back to country after flirts with jazz, traditional pop and Big Band-type songs. I expect a couple more quality releases from her in the future.

Caprice Bourret Autographed 8x10 Picture

Model? Try supermodel.

When the whole world knows you by your first name, and most folks don't even know your last name - you've definitely made a name for yourself. This is what Caprice Bourret has achieved, through modeling mostly, but since she has retired from the glitzy world of runways and advertising, she has successfully ventured into business endeavours such as her lingerie line By Caprice Lingerie, which she started first by licensing her name to a company (Debenhams) for them to make a buck off it, then by re-purchasing the rights to her name and releasing her own stuff; her brand-name has since expanded to include swimwear, sleepwear and bedding.

All this, of course, coming from a woman who between the ages of 23 and 28 was on the cover of over 250 magazines, the least of which was the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, but also Maxim, FHM, Vogue, GQ, Cosmopolitan, Esquire and many others. You'll notice those magazines are targeted to both men and women, teens and adults of all ages. She was all-encompassing as a hottie, but also had the brains to market herself like few others.

Because of that, she has gone on to host numerous TV programs - mostly in Britain, but on our side of then pond, she has also appeared in The Surreal Life. She has gone on to play in theater (Rent and The Vagina Monologues), and released a music single.

And every time she was on TV, whether a Reality TV show or presenting an award at a televised ceremony, she has always appeared as one of the smartest there, never flubbing her lines, always on point, always graceful. Some politicians have 20-people teams of writers and handlers and don't appear as natural and well-spoken in front of the cameras.

I sent Caprice an email on March 2nd and got this signed 8x10 picture (black sharpie, inscribed ''Lots of Love, xxxx'') on the 9th - a single week later, thanks to Her Majesty's post service, U.K.